I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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