Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
