So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
