in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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