I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
