It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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