Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
