she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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