I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize