Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
