It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
