i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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