Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
