I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
