note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
