do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
