Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
smell my finger.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
