did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
