Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
