Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize