no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
