Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
