I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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