im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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