ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
