Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
