i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
handjob tips. give me some.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize