I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
