IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
