Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This baby is an asshole
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
