Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
