I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
