Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
