I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize