I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
