I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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