he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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