the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
