whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
