Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize