I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
