check it out our google latitudes are spooning
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
