Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
