After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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