Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize