Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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