I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
