so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
a search helicopter?!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize