he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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