Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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