I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
