I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
