dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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