girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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