You just made me feel so damn special
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
