Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
