Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I need to wash the frat house off of me
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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