THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
