do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
