So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
