I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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