just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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