Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
