New low: just hacked my moms facebook
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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