I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
3pm strippers are depressing
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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