Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
