Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
